Jokes - Star Motorcycle Forums: Star Raider, V-Max, V-Star, Road-Star Forum
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post #1 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-05-2011, 08:33 PM Thread Starter
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Jokes

A set of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says "don't try to start anything".


A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food".

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says "why the long face?".

A guy decides to go see a psychiatrist. But befor he goes, he strips naked and wraps himself in saran wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says "I know why you're here". The guy says "oh yeah, how's that?" The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see you're nuts".
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Former bikes were
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1977 Harley Iron Head Sportster
1970 Triumph 500 Hard Tail Chopper
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post #2 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-05-2011, 09:07 PM
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Don't be shy Good ones, post more as you get em

Lounge, you know

Ride Safe, Live Long
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post #3 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-05-2011, 10:58 PM
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Thumbs up funny

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post #4 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-05-2011, 11:05 PM
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I got stopped for dragging a chain down the street by a cop, He said boy why you dragging that chain Well I said did you every try pushing one
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post #5 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-06-2011, 01:31 AM
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OK someone's gotta find the line in the sand so it might as well be me. Here goes.
Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

SMELL MY FINGER

RED BIKE CLUB It's Lonely At The Top
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post #6 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-06-2011, 01:31 AM
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The taste!
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SMELL MY FINGER

RED BIKE CLUB It's Lonely At The Top
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post #7 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-06-2011, 11:01 AM Thread Starter
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Why don't girls drink beer at the beach?







They're afraid they'll get sand in their Schlitz.
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Now 2010 V STAR 950 T
Former bikes were
1982 Yamaha XJ650 Maxim
1977 Harley Iron Head Sportster
1970 Triumph 500 Hard Tail Chopper
4 wheels move the body, 2 wheels move the soul
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post #8 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-06-2011, 03:21 PM
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Three couples go to join a church. The pastor of the church tells them that to join the church they just abstain from sex for three weeks. Three weeks later they all return to the church and the pastor asks them how they did.

The first couple reported that since they had been married for so long, it was not an issue from them and they completed their assignment. They were welcomed to the church.

The second couple reported that is was more difficult, and the husband had to sleep on the couch a few nights, but they too completed their assignment. They were welcomed to the church.

When the last couple was asked how they did the husband responded: "Well we decided to paint the living room to take our minds off it. Linda went up the ladder to get some paint and she when came down in front of me, I could not help myself and I took her right there."

The pastor responded: "Well son, I am sorry to say that after that you will not be allowed in the church."

The husband says "Yea, well after that, we are not allowed in the Home Depot anymore either."

Last edited by Grumpy; 02-06-2011 at 03:22 PM. Reason: Spelling
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post #9 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 02:05 PM
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Freudian slip sent on a postcard from a husband to his wife while away on a trip:

"Having a wonderful time here, wish you were her."
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post #10 of 739 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 02:10 PM
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A husband and wide are talking one night, and the wife asks the husband: "If I died, would you ever re-marry? The husband replies "Well I am still young, I would probably re-marry".

The wife asks "If you remarried, would you let her live in this house?. The husband says "Well the house is almost paid for, yes I would let her live in this house."

The wife says "Would you let her wear any of my clothes?" The huband says, "Well you have a closet full of clothes and they are very nice, so I supposed if she liked them I would let her wear your clothes."

The wife says "Would you let her drive my sports car? The huband says "No, absolutley not."

The wife says "I don't understand, If I died and you remarried, you would let her live in my house, and wear my clothes but you wouldn't let her drive my sports car? Why not?

The husband replies "Because she can't drive a straight stick"
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