Senior Personal Ads

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers:

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim,5'-4" (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six- unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

Stratowart must be getting desperate to advertise like that...;)

Stratowart must be getting desperate to advertise like that...;)

Oh ya? well at least I don't have Alzheimer's like you.

Stratowart must be getting desperate to advertise like that...;)

Oh ya? Well at least I don't have Alzhiemer's like you. :D

Oh ya? Well at least I don't have Alzhiemer's like you. :D

http://i364.photobucket.com/albums/oo88/fripuppy/stoned-1.jpg

(or even a spell checker...A l z h e i m e r's. "i" before "e" except after "c"...):D

Post whore...:D

(or even a spell checker...A l z h e i m e r's. "i" before "e" except after "c"...):D

Whazza-matta? jealous that I'm right at least half the time? :D

Hmm...thinking...." I'm lucky these guys can't remember that black bikes are fastest or we would have REAL arguement "

Hmm...thinking...." I'm lucky these guys can't remember that black bikes are fastest or we would have REAL arguement "

Black bikes? H'mmm. I thought all black bikes were made in Milwaukee...:eek::D

And I thought buying a black bike is like buying a piece of unfinished furniture :D

Actually your statement would have been just as accurate if you'd omitted "unfinished":D

Black bikes? H'mmm. I thought all black bikes were made in Milwaukee...:eek::D

And I thought buying a black bike is like buying a piece of unfinished furniture :D